5 things I wish I’d known before going into labour

I have a friend whose first baby is due in just less than a month.

She hasn’t asked me for advice, but I’m going to provide it here on my blog for her anyway. Because that’s what mums do, right?

I mean, when I was preggers, I got loads of advice I didn’t ask for.

But, here’s the thing. Most of that advice (no matter how well intentioned) was useless or obvious. “Get all the sleep you can now, because you won’t when the baby gets here,” “The first night is the hardest,” that sort of thing.

Here’s what I WISH people had told me…

1. The mucus plug is seriously gross. SERIOUSLY

Okay, so first of all NOBODY TOLD ME ABOUT THE MUCUS PLUG. How I missed out on this very important lesson is still a mystery to me.

But, I just *happened* to come across a mention of it on a website about three days before Pumpkin showed up. I thought to myself, “Oh, I wonder what that is,” and Googled a picture of it.

Then I almost hurled.

If you’re not about to shoot a baby out of your hoo-ha, do not – I repeat DO NOT – go Google a picture of these things. ‘Cuz they’re nasty. But if you are about to give birth, then make sure you are ready for it. Even knowing what to expect, you’ll be taken aback.

It’s like a whale sneezed in the loo.

2. Have plenty of towels ready in case your waters break at home

This is what happens on TV: a woman’s waters break, there’s a big gush of fluid, then it’s over. She’s whisked off to the hospital and the baby’s born like ten minutes later. Well it doesn’t work like that. Not always. Maybe not ever.

In fact, your midwife might tell you to stay at home if your contractions aren’t close enough together yet. Mine did. That means you’ll be waiting around for a while and, depending on where the membranes ruptured, you may have a constant trickle, rather than that big gush.

A constant trickle that you can’t escape. I resorted to sitting on a stack of towels on our bathroom floor, looking at the iPad until it was time to go to the hospital.

I changed clothes three times and went through a whole pack of maternity pads. I can’t imagine what horrible mess Daddy-man had to clean up when he got home the next day. But I know all – ALL – of our towels were soaked with gloop that had leaked out of my body.

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3. Eat loads of fibre

I’m not going to go into great detail about this here – but was in labour for 37 hours or so before Pumpkin finally arrived.

During the time before I went to the hospital, I ate a lot of not-so-healthy food that caused a serious back-up that actually blocked the baby’s route out. Yes, you will probably poop during labour – but you want that poop to come out easily. Trust me.

So eat fibre. Loads of fibre. Drink plenty of water too.

4. Buy lots of maternity pads

Think you’ve already bought ‘lots’ of maternity pads? You haven’t. Go buy more. Do it now. I’ll wait….

Welcome back.

We were lucky that we have a shop just downstairs that sells them – I felt like I was constantly sending Daddy-man out to buy more. I’m not sure how long I continued to use them, but I feel like it was about a month before I switched to normal pads.

5. Your insides *probably* won’t fall out

Sorry, I’m on about poop again. Because that first one after giving birth? It was pretty scary. I seriously felt like all of my insides were just going to fall out.

It didn’t happen though. Does it ever? Probably not. Just know you aren’t alone if you feel that way too. It made me feel better to fold up a bit of loo roll and hold it against myself – keeping everything in place *just in case*.

So that’s my not-so-standard list of pre-birth advice for soon-to-be mums. I’m sure there are plenty of other things to add, so if you have an idea, please leave a message in the comments below.

And, hey, good luck to my friend – she’s an athlete and has done some pretty amazing things (from swimming 50k for charity a few years ago, to hiking to the tops of Scottish mountains in her third trimester). So, I’m sure this whole giving birth thing will be a walk in the park. 🙂